Cam Girl Established

    Just call me Jane.... As in Jane Doe.. As in I hope you never uncover my dirty panties under your bed anytime soon.
 
      The journey to become a cam girl started last week when my job was in massive termination phase. I was feeling lost and scared. I had thought and talked with my husband before about doing it but was not "seriously" thinking of taking my clothes off and shoving dildos in my ass anytime soon. It was something that I thought would be fun but I must admit I grew up in a sexually sheltered environment.
    I started the adventure with endless hours of research to find the best site. (I am a google whore and believe that google solves every dilemma.) I found that many people recommended LiveJasmin and I signed up. The next two days were full of anxiety as I was putting in applications for jobs, finding interview clothes, finding lingerie, in limbo at my job, and trying to deal with family matters. Needless to say my life was and is in chaos stage. Not to mention the worry of "what if someone finds out," what if I get on and I am a total failure?" Something I have never seen a cam girl confess and had hoped to find their fears.
    I decided to start out in a non nude category to start out to  learn what goes on and to get comfortable with what the guys would ask for. I logged on a nervous wreck. I started chatting with the guys in my black tank and jeans. I was surprised how awesome they were and supportive of the fact that I was a newly hatched fantasy in the making.
     My panic attacked self was thrown into a private chat an hour later. It was kind of thrilling to think that someone would pay to spend time watching me. Although the guy asked for a non nude strip tease. I felt a little off kilter trying my best to please whatever he asked me to do. I do realize that fact now that I need to set my cam and computer up to focus on my bed. Technical issues of trying to stay in the cam and be sexy was tough needless to say. I hope he got his jollies off bc he left about 33 minutes later without a word which kind of pissed me off. I mean seriously?! My first show I would like to hear if I did a good job?! owell I understand it happens and they dont have to say anything its their money and time. Now I am brushing up on how to do a sexy strip tease. Any new cam girls out there have left a private show wondering if they were good or looked like a twitchy version of gumby?
   Another thing was Dirty talk...... I sometimes talk dirty to my man when we are getting it on but what do they like to hear? I sometimes felt ignorant for purring out a "let me see your sexy cock.. ooooh that looks so big do you think it would fit into my tight little pussy?" ????
  Maybe im over analyzing but it felt pretty exhilarating that I can make a man cum from across the world. It wasnt bad but it was a lil overwhelming.
 Another thing beginner girls I learned what a SPH is.. aka Small Penis Humiliation.. If I ever get a case again that someone asks and wants this service. I will definitely offer. Telling a man how worthless his small penis is sounds to me like a great stress relieving venture.
  So I left the night feeling overly exhausted. It is hard to keep the facade up and to dance around for hours. Its like you are to transform into what girl their fantasy is and then when you log out you go back to the "you" in the situation.
   So today I purchased some lingerie... I hope it pleases all the new customers that I hopefully get and I learned to practice a bit in front of the cam to figure out a better way to not feel overwhelmed in a show when the camera is not in the right spot. That spells "NEWBIE" in big bold letters and to them it spells "WASTE OF TIME."
Although girls if anyone reads this.. What was your first couple of weeks like?